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&lt;p&gt;&#39;Twas the night before bonus day, when all through Goldman Sachs&lt;br&gt;Not a board member was kvetching, not even Claes Dahlback.&lt;br&gt;The stock offerings were underwritten, by the bankers with care,&lt;br&gt;In hopes that big bonuses would soon be there.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The associates were nestled, very drunk in their beds&lt;br&gt;While visions of greenbacks slow-danced in their heads.&lt;br&gt;And Lloyd in his ascot, and Cohn in his cap&lt;br&gt;Had just hunkered down for a long late-night chat.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;When outside 200 West there arose such a clatter&lt;br&gt;Lloyd sprang from his corner office to see what was the matter.&lt;br&gt;Away to the window Cohn flew like a flash,&lt;br&gt;Gary tore open the shutters and threw down some cash.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;A boy in whose hands held pure new-fallen snow&lt;br&gt;And up came the goods on a helluva throw.&lt;br&gt;When, what to Lloyd&#39;s widening pupil should appear,&lt;br&gt;But a stretch Hummer H3, and eight tiny first-years.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;With a little French driver, wearing Le Coq Sportif,&lt;br&gt;Lloyd knew in a moment it must be that Fabrice.&lt;br&gt;More rapid than short-sell orders his analysts they came&lt;br&gt;Fab Fab hooted and hollered and (en Francais) called them by name:&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&quot;Maintenant, Anton! Maintenant, Andr&amp;eacute;! Maintenant, Gaston et Fr&amp;eacute;d&amp;eacute;ric!&lt;br&gt;Allez, Gr&amp;eacute;goire! Allez, L&amp;eacute;on! Allez, Henri et Aimee!&lt;br&gt;To the top of the org chart! to the height of HQ!&lt;br&gt;Let&#39;s cash in large, cash in large, cash in me and you!&quot;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Unlike that Abacus deal, which was doomed from the start,&lt;br&gt;Fab Fab&#39;s spirit was bright, seated in that very long car.&lt;br&gt;So up to the headquarters-top his analysts they flew,&lt;br&gt;With the Hummer full of boys, and one female banker too.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;And then, while squinting that squint, Lloyd heard on the roof&lt;br&gt;The prancing and pawing of each little French hoof.&lt;br&gt;As Lloyd exited the head, and was turning around,&lt;br&gt;Down the fire escape Fab Fab came, with a big freaking frown.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;He was dressed in faux fur, for that was all he could afford,&lt;br&gt;And his analysts looked mad, but also quite bored.&lt;br&gt;A bundle of legal receipts he had flung on his back,&lt;br&gt;Fab Fab looked not a thing like a VP with a big swinging sack.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Yet Fab Fab&#39;s eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!&lt;br&gt;His analysts started salivating, things began to get scary.&lt;br&gt;Fab Fab&#39;s cell phone was bared, much like a Zen bow,&lt;br&gt;And the top of his lip was, like Gary Cohn&#39;s, also covered in snow.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Fab Fab spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,&lt;br&gt;And tied up Lloyd Blankfein, then Gary Cohn that big jerk.&lt;br&gt;And laying his ring finger inside of his nose,&lt;br&gt;Sent a final text to his girl, then up the ladder he rose.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;Fab Fab sprang back to his stretch, to his analysts gave a yell,&lt;br&gt;And away they all sped like vampire squids out of hell.&lt;br&gt;But Lloyd heard him exclaim, as Fabrice drove out of sight,&lt;br&gt;&quot;If not me, give them bonuses this year -- or they&#39;ll put up quite a fight!&quot;&lt;/p&gt;

Derek Loosvelt

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