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&lt;p&gt;UBS&amp;mdash;which took a severe beating during the financial crisis, losing billions of dollars and a lot of credibility thanks to a highly-publicized lawsuit, but which has recently put up some solid financial figures&amp;mdash;today unveiled a new advertising campaign, attempting to convey to current and prospective clients that the firm is not planning on taking a break from work anytime soon.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;More specifically, according to UBS, the bank&#39;s &quot;We will not rest&quot; campaign slogan&lt;span style=&quot;font-weight: bold;&quot;&gt; &lt;/span&gt;is meant to signify that the bank &quot;refuses to rest until we are the UBS that [clients] can trust completely.&quot; Furthermore, according to a memo announcing the campaign, &quot;The confidence we portray should help our client advisors reinforce existing relationships and secure new ones.&quot;&lt;span style=&quot;font-weight: bold;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/span&gt;And so, in honor of the new campaign, below are the worst and best advertising slogans in modern banking history. Enjoy.&lt;span style=&quot;font-weight: bold;&quot;&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;The 5 Worst Banking Slogans&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;5. &quot;Think what we can do for you.&quot; (Bank of America&#39;s poor attempt at ripping off JFK that, I think, is missing a preposition, at the very least.)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;4. &quot;Live richly.&quot; (Citi should&#39;ve taken some of advice from Hemingway before rolling this one out: &lt;span style=&quot;font-style: italic;&quot;&gt;use adverbs sparingly&lt;/span&gt;.)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;3. &quot;You can count on us.&quot; (I believe this is what they call, in the advertising business, or any business, irony: IndyMac famously went bankrupt while this slogan was still in use.)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;2. &quot;The strength to be there.&quot; (If not for the U.S. government and taxpayers, AIG* almost wasn&#39;t.)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;1. &quot;Whoo hoo!&quot; (Washington Mutual, aka WaMu, threw out this ridiculous Homer Simpson-esque campaign not long after it unveiled massive losses and layoffs ... D&#39;oh!)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-weight: bold;&quot;&gt;The 5 Best Banking Slogans&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;5. &quot;The world&#39;s local bank.&quot; (It&#39;s unclear what HSBC wants us to take away from this, but it sure is short and catchy.)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;4. &quot;Advice you can bank on.&quot; (A solid use of the double entendre from Dresdner Bank.)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;3. &quot;The Citi never sleeps.&quot; (Although the slogan doesn&#39;t quite get across what Citicorp/Citigroup wanted it to&amp;mdash;that the bank &quot;has an around the globe and around the clock commitment to its clients&quot;&amp;mdash;it smartly nodded to the ubiquitous phrase describing the world&#39;s financial capital, which, of course, is the city in which Citi is based.)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;2. &quot;When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen.&quot; (People might not have listened, but they sure did love to watch the firm&#39;s commercials, which put this campaign out of the park.)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;1. &quot;We make money the old-fashioned way. We earn it.&quot; (Smith Barney&#39;s iconic advertising campaign using the incomparable &lt;span style=&quot;font-style: italic;&quot;&gt;Paper Chase&lt;/span&gt;-r John Houseman.)&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;font size=&quot;1&quot;&gt;&lt;span style=&quot;font-style: italic;&quot;&gt;*True, AIG is not technically a bank, but this one was just too good to exclude.&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

Derek Loosvelt

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