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&lt;p&gt;Don&amp;rsquo;t ask your boss to be your mentor.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;It&amp;rsquo;s the convenient choice, if you&amp;rsquo;ve been thinking of getting a workplace big brother or sister. But Lois Zachary, author of The Mentee&amp;rsquo;s Guide: Making Mentoring Work for You, advises against following your gut&amp;mdash;and especially convenience&amp;mdash;when making a choice of mentors.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Zachary&amp;rsquo;s book, (written with Lory Fischler ), takes a mathematical approach to finding a perfect fit (literally&amp;mdash;she has an equation!), and also offers no-nonsense tips for navigating sticky situations, like when your mentoring partner prefers discussing her marriage over work issues.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;We asked her our burning questions about finding, keeping, and closing a mentorship with grace&amp;mdash;and here&amp;rsquo;s what she had to say.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;h3&gt;On Finding a Mentor:&lt;/h3&gt;&lt;p&gt;Zachary advises against sticking to obvious choices, suggesting instead that you make a list of all your contacts (and their contacts) and weigh the pros and cons of each. Of course, you&amp;rsquo;ll want to keep meeting people to facilitate this process&amp;mdash;and when you do, put your best foot forward.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Just as with dating (which the mentoring process strangely resembles) &amp;ldquo;Use your network and make it work for you,&amp;rdquo; Zachary advises. &amp;ldquo;Reach out to people, but don&amp;rsquo;t assume you really know them&amp;mdash;ask questions. You need to be likeable, enthusiastic, and make yourself interesting.&amp;rdquo;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;h3&gt;On Starting Out on Good Foot:&lt;/h3&gt;&lt;p&gt;Honesty is truly the best policy&amp;mdash;and the sooner you can implement that policy, the better. &amp;ldquo;Communication can become muddled or insincere,&amp;rdquo; Zachary says, noting that without both parties fully present and engaged, mentoring is pretty much useless. &amp;ldquo;If I&amp;rsquo;m withholding and not honest or authentic, then I&amp;rsquo;m going through the motions--and the motions are not going through me.&amp;rdquo;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;You know that pushy friend you have who you always smile and nod at, then vent to your other friend about? You want to avoid that kind of a relationship in a mentorship at all costs. Zachary&amp;rsquo;s key to working through differences: &amp;ldquo;Not posturing, but really aligning what you say, what you feel, and what you do.&amp;rdquo;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;For more on mentoring, read the full interview with Lois Zachary&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Cathryn Vandewater, Vault.com&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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How to Choose a Mentor

Don’t ask your boss to be your mentor.It’s the convenient choice, if you’ve been thinking of getting a workplace big brother or sister. But Lois Zachary, author of The Mentee’s Guide: Making Mentoring Work for You, advises against following your gut—and especially convenience—when making a choice of mentors.Zachary’s book, (written with Lory Fischler ), takes a mathematical approach to finding a perfect fit (literally—she has an equation!), and also offers no-nonsense tips for navigating sticky situations, like when your mentoring partner prefers discussing her marriage over work issues.We asked her our burning questions about finding, keeping, and closing a mentorship with grace—and here’s what she had to say.On Finding a Mentor:Zachary advises against sticking to obvious choices, suggesting instead that you make a list of all your contacts (and their contacts) and weigh the pros and cons of each.

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