Some (economy's in the) toilet humor

Oof! There's a whole bunch of depressing headlines out there just waiting to weigh down anyone looking for a ray of hope in their job search. Apparently, more than 200,000 job losses have now been announced since the beginning of the year, and we aren't anywhere near the end of the earnings season yet, meaning more are sure to follow. Sure, some of you might get a kick out of the fact that one of those layoffs happens to be Merrill Lynch's million-dollar office decorator-in-chief John Thain, but schadenfreude alone won't pay the bills. Especially as U.S. consumer confidence is now at all-time lows.

Perhaps most depressing of all, however, is the realization that no industry is likely to go untouched. Indeed, a report from Advertising Age indicates that people are even cutting back on toilet paper. That's right: toilet paper. The mind boggles. Well, a little part of it anyway. Other parts merely wonder what people are using for an alternative. Could this new reality be the real reason behind Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim Helú's recent $250 million investment to save the New York Times? Perhaps he's anticipating people going all Great Depression-ish and finding an additional use for the Gray Lady.

 Or maybe the 5.5% drop in Kimberley-Clark's sales is down to a whole new level of frugality—people cutting out bathroom breaks to cut costs and, if still in a job, minimize time away from their desks.  If so, beware: one can certainly imagine such an idea becoming corporate policy at, say, the likes of Dunder-Mifflin.

 --Posted by Phil Stott, Vault Staff Writer