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&lt;p&gt;To apologize, or not to apologize? That is the question that has been running through my mind multiple times a day since I read Sloane Crosley’s astute, refreshingly unapologetic &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/23/opinion/when-an-apology-is-anything-but.html?ref=opinion&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;op-ed&lt;/a&gt; in last week&#39;s&#160;&lt;em&gt;NY Times&lt;/em&gt;. I have been aware of the female tendency to say “sorry” at every turn for several years now, after attending an eye-opening professional development seminar as a law firm associate. Since then I have tried to be mindful about avoiding the S-word in the workplace unless it is truly warranted. Crosley’s article seem to come at just the right moment: in the middle of my busiest time of year, when it would be impossible for me to meet every request, demand and deadline that is thrown my way. As a result I could be apologizing left and right to people. For example, those who missed deadlines and ignored instructions that I communicated to them quite clearly, and who are now disappointed and frustrated because of their own errors. But why should I say sorry? It’s not my fault!&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;So I have been consciously trying to eliminate “sorry” from my vocabulary unless it is absolutely necessary, not just at work but in life. Just as a man of sound judgment and upstanding character would. &#160;It’s amazing, when I pay attention, how often I really am apologizing for my existence on a near-constant basis. Guy bumps into me on the subway? “Oh, sorry!” Buying a soda from the overpriced kiosk in the lobby and I’ve got a $20 bill? “Sorry,” as I hand it over to make my purchase. Coworker asks very kindly, because he needs to know, if I will be posting my blog in time to go out in Vault’s newsletter? “No, sorry.” (Even though I had not promised to do so, was under no specific obligation to, and he was only asking to see whether he should include a placeholder for the article). Listen to myself long enough and my day starts to sound like the Amy Schumer &lt;a href=&quot;http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/14/amy-schumer-im-sorry-not-sorry_n_7276504.html&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;sketch&lt;/a&gt; Crosley aptly describes as more “disturbing” than “amusing.” &#160;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;I’m making a commitment to follow Crosley’s sound advice, to STOP saying sorry: “It’s not what we’re saying that’s the problem, it’s what we’re&#160;&lt;em&gt;not&lt;/em&gt;&#160;saying. The sorrys are taking up airtime that should be used for making logical, declarative statements, expressing opinions and relaying accurate impressions of what we want.”&#160; But I want to be careful that I don’t neglect to say “sorry” in situations where it is truly warranted; I don’t want to be one of those &lt;a href=&quot;/blog/workplace-issues/being-nice-the-key-to-career-success/&quot;&gt;mean people&lt;/a&gt; at the office or an inconsiderate friend. Therein lies the grey area—and there goes that everpresent female tendency to please! I’m generally a caring, gracious person, and I don’t want that part of my personality to fade away as I detoxify myself of apologetic tendencies. I’ll start by erring on the side of NOT sorry, and see where that takes me. And if I offend you in the process… well, I’m just not sorry.&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;Read More: &lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;/blog/workplace-issues/being-nice-the-key-to-career-success/&quot;&gt;Being Nice: The Key to Career Success&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;/blog/vaults-law-blog-legal-careers-and-industry-news/are-moms-at-the-top-law-firms-happy/&quot;&gt;Are Moms at the Top Law Firms Happy?&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br /&gt; &lt;a href=&quot;/blog/vaults-law-blog-legal-careers-and-industry-news/can-women-have-it-all-at-this-firm/&quot;&gt;Can Women ‘Have it All’ at This Firm?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;FOLLOW VAULT ON TWITTER&#160;&lt;a href=&quot;https://twitter.com/VaultLaw&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;@VAULTLAW&lt;/a&gt;, INSTAGRAM&#160;&lt;a href=&quot;http://instagram.com/vaultcareers?ref=badge&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;@VaultCareers&lt;/a&gt;and&#160;&lt;a href=&quot;https://www.facebook.com/Vault&quot; target=&quot;_blank&quot;&gt;FACEBOOK&lt;/a&gt;&#160;&lt;/p&gt;

Nicole Weber

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